The Lost Lyrics ✨ Soothing Story for Better Sleep

[00:00:10] Hi Sleep Waivers, Carissa here. Something you may not know about me is that I love country music. I was raised mostly in Texas and have fond memories of driving around in my grandma's old pickup truck around her farm with country music blasting. Tonight's sweet sleep story is about a country singer, which brings back all those nostalgic memories for me. I hope it brings you the same cozy vibes.

[00:00:34] First though, if you love the show, please consider leaving us a review. We read every single one and love to know what we're doing well to help you sleep better. Okay, let's join country singer Bonnie Rae in an early chapter of her new life, offstage. Though a little disorienting, it turns out this change might just be what Bonnie needs, opening her eyes to new inspiration in the form of a stranger in a coffee shop.

[00:01:01] If you love this show, start a free trial of Sleep Wave Premium tonight. You'll relax and sleep easier with no advertisements, enjoy more variety with two premium episodes every month, and unlock the full library of exclusive supporter-only episodes. Join in two taps via the link in the show notes. Cancel any time. But now, a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible.

[00:01:54] Let's go! So, lade die Yasio App jetzt herunter! Happy New Year, Sleep Wave listeners! A new year brings a fresh start, and there's no better time to prioritize getting the rest you need to feel your best. If sleep has been a struggle for you, let me share something that has completely changed my nights. Oslo Sleep Buds. These tiny, soft-as-a-cloud earbuds are designed to help you tune out the world and sink into rest.

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[00:03:16] Sweet dreams and thank you, Oslo, for helping us all start the year with a great night's sleep. Du liegst in der Badewanne und hörst deinen Podcast. Doch hui, das Plätschern des Wassers wird zum Meeres rauschen und plötzlich fliegst du in den Süden. Ägypten, Kanaren, Griechenland, Türkei, Karibik. Der warme Sand zwischen den Zähnen und kühles Getränk in der Hand und die Sonne auf der Haut. Nicht träumen, Alturs buchen.

[00:03:44] Alles drin, alles gut, alles für dich. Alturs, alles aber günstig. Jetzt im Reisebüro oder auf alturs.de Bonnie Rae reluctantly opened her eyes. What she suspected was unfortunately correct.

[00:04:15] And the clock showed it was just after five in the morning. She closed her eyes again and willed her body to go back to sleep. Trying everything from counting sheep to breathing slowly and rhythmically. But none of it worked. Her body was still in the groove of early wake-ups and busy schedules. She couldn't wait for it to ease into this new life where she had the opportunity for a good, long, solid sleep.

[00:04:46] Bonnie had spent years at the top of her game. One of the most famous country singers out there. She had toured every corner of America with her faithful band and her guitar. Peering out from beneath her broad-brimmed cowboy hat at crowds that packed out stadiums. She knew how to bring an audience to the edge of their emotions. Easing from fast songs to slow ones.

[00:05:13] Picking up the rhythms and the beats and ending on a glorious high that left the crowd wanting more. The Bonnie Rae who appeared on stage wasn't Bonnie Rae at all. She was someone who dressed for the part and played it well. Even changing her name to fit in with all the songs she crooned. Her tight jeans and tasseled boots.

[00:05:43] Her checked shirts and the golden pigtails emerging from beneath a broad-brimmed hat hadn't been touched in the last year. And it had been really rather wonderful, living in anonymity. Nobody knowing she was one of the most famous people in the country when she had quietly slipped into corner cafes and backstreet bars. The golden pigtails were gone, replaced with natural brown.

[00:06:14] Now, she no longer spent time with a bottle of bleach, and she wore it swept up in a bun. She had loved the flowing florals of summer dresses that floated around her. And in the winter months, she buried herself in thick woolen jumpers that she wore with long, full skirts that hid the knee-high socks she wore underneath.

[00:06:41] They were socks exactly as her grandmother used to wear, but she didn't care. They were warm and cozy and comfortable, and she was wearing them with her toes pushed deep into fur-lined boots. The Bonnie Rae of the stage was a world away, and that's just how she wanted it.

[00:07:10] Whenever she thought of returning to the stage, pulling on the figure-hugging jeans and smearing on the bright red lipstick, her heart raced with fear. The idea of standing in front of an audience of tens of thousands of people whose eyes were all fixated on her was the last thing she wanted.

[00:07:36] And she was tired, too, of singing about heartache or happy ever-afters, which is all anyone seemed to want to hear. The crowds would sing along and stamp their feet and get wrapped up in the lyrics, but it all meant nothing to her now.

[00:07:59] She was tired of singing about moments imagined, about heartbreaks that had never really happened, and weddings that would never be hers. If they had stopped for a moment, perhaps they would have realized she didn't have time in her schedule for love, or romance, or heartbreak, or any of those things.

[00:08:27] Today, as with every day, Bonnie was determined to do something different. For a while, she had been hibernating, recharging her batteries by sleeping, eating, and not talking to anyone other than to order another takeaway that she would enjoy curled up on the sofa. Now, she told herself, that phase was over.

[00:08:58] She pointed her toes beneath the blankets and stretched them as far as she could. Then she flexed the muscles in her legs, first the left, and then the right, as if warming them up for the day ahead, just as she had once done with her vocal cords before a concert.

[00:09:22] She tightened her stomach, holding herself tense for a slow count of one, two, three, four, and then released before moving on to her arms, her hands, her individual fingers. Now that every part of her was awake, it was time to climb out of the bed.

[00:09:54] The shower was hot and strong, and she let herself linger, water pouring down her back and pooling a little before rushing towards the plughole.

[00:10:06] Bonnie took her bar of soap, the one scented with soothing lavender, and gently rubbed it across every inch of her body, smoothing it around in slow circles, and watching as a satisfying lather appeared, and then was washed and swirled away.

[00:10:28] She finally turned the water off, breathing in the clouds of steam that had gathered in the bathroom, and peering at the bleary version of herself in the mirror above the sink. You're doing well, she told herself. Now, teeth.

[00:10:51] Once every part of her was as clean as it could be, she padded back across the thick, soft carpet of the bedroom, naturally drawn once more to the soft warmth of the bed. Bonnie stopped, firmly forcing herself to change direction and head inside to the wardrobe.

[00:11:16] For the first time in a long time, she took the time to think a little more about combinations and colors. She chose a cheerful red jumper with silver buttons along one shoulder. It fitted neatly and showed off her waist, and she added, also for the first time in a long time, a pair of dark blue jeans.

[00:11:44] She had expected the feel of denim against her skin to conjure up the bonny ray she had abandoned, but instead it made her smile. The jeans looked good with the jumper. Then she spent time brushing and drying and shaping her hair, letting it fall in soft waves to her shoulders.

[00:12:10] Her skin, so pale from all her time inside, seemed almost translucent in places, the veins beneath showing themselves as if dark memories of rivers ran across her face.

[00:12:27] It had been a long time since she had sat at her dressing table and carefully applied makeup, highlighting her high cheekbones and the emerald green of her eyes. Today, she told herself, she would head out and have breakfast in a cafe. Today, she would be part of the world again. She would hide away no longer.

[00:12:56] It was time for Bonnie Ray to be reborn. Bonnie was so concerned with her own thoughts and worries and fears that she didn't notice just how many eyes turned to look at her as she walked along the street.

[00:13:17] She was a striking figure, walking tall and with the confidence that she pretended to have, and she caught the attention of almost everyone. Some thought she reminded them of that country singer who, thinking about it, they hadn't heard of in a while. But they dismissed the thought and just admired the beautiful woman walking nearby.

[00:13:48] Bonnie also didn't notice the silence that followed the ringing of the bell as she entered the little cafe. The smiling rose was something of an institution and had been for years, but Bonnie had never been. She didn't have time when she was famous, and she had slipped too quickly into hibernation when she had left the touring life.

[00:14:14] But its soft, pink frontage and cozy-looking interior had drawn her attention. She was too busy observing the outside world, all the lights and bustle and new noises, to notice that all the other customers had stopped.

[00:14:38] Cops paused on the way to their lips to look at the lady who had just entered. There was a single table with two chairs available right at the back, and Bonnie slipped gratefully into the seat. It had taken more effort than she had imagined to get through everything that morning, and she didn't have the energy to spend long lingering over the menu.

[00:15:08] She asked for coffee and a muffin, and settled back to steady her breathing. Music played in the background, soft and slow, and she focused her attention on that. The waitress reappeared. One mug of steaming coffee, and one plate with a muffin, smiled at Bonnie, and then retreated again.

[00:15:38] The waitress was good at reading people, instantly knowing who wanted to have a gossip and a chat, and who wanted to be left alone. The coffee calmed Bonnie's nerves, and she closed her eyes, letting the soft babble of low voices wash over her.

[00:16:02] The café was warmed by a huge wood burner, and she stirred a little as the door creaked open, and somebody threw in another log, closing the door with another creak and a bang. She was losing herself in a painting, a typical seaside scene, when a voice interrupted her thoughts. Excuse me, is this chair free?

[00:16:33] Bonnie replayed the words in her head and forced them to make some sense. The voice came again. I'm sorry, miss, it's the only seat not taken. Do you mind if I… The apologetic voice came from a tall man. He wore a blue shirt and a long blue scarf wound three or four times around his neck,

[00:16:58] and in his hand was a silver pen and a large black notebook. Bonnie quickly scanned the rest of the café and saw that he was right. She smiled, reluctantly but politely, and gestured to the chair. Feel free, she said.

[00:17:22] The man sat down, pushing the sugar bowl and menu holder back towards the middle of the table, making room for his elbows and notebook. The sugar bowl jolted against Bonnie's coffee cup and spilled a little over the side and down onto the saucer. Sorry, he mumbled, cheeks turning bright red.

[00:17:50] Sorry, you just wanted to be left in peace, didn't you? And I've blundered in here and made a mess of your mourning. Really, I'm so sorry. Bonnie raised an eyebrow. I'm not sure it merits three sorries, but thanks all the same. Not a problem, really. She looked across at the man and felt a little sorry for him. Look, she went on.

[00:18:19] It's fine. And at least you didn't get coffee on your notebook. That would have been far worse. She'd meant for the comment to be lighthearted, but instead he snatched up the notebook with a horrified look, peering quickly but carefully to check it was indeed free from coffee. See? She said soothingly. It's fine. The man relaxed a little, feeling foolish.

[00:18:49] Sorry, he mumbled again. It's just important to me, that's all. I'm… I'm trying to write a book. Silly, I know. What sort of book? Bonnie asked. She was not actually that interested, but feeling as if she should keep the conversation going.

[00:19:10] She'd been determined to force herself out of her comfortable hibernation, and interacting with another human, deliberately drawing out a meeting, was certainly doing that. Romance, I suppose. The man smiled awkwardly. Not, you know, bedroom stuff. Just the falling in love part. That part.

[00:19:39] The best part, I guess. Bonnie smiled and was about to go on when a song came on the radio. All I needed was to look in your eyes, and I was lost forever. The singer crooned. The smile disappeared from Bonnie's face, and she stared at her muffin.

[00:20:07] Every moment I would spend with you, the magic that we had together. Drifted out from the radio and into the cafe, the man gestured towards the speaker. Such a beautiful song, he said. That singer knew what she was talking about.

[00:20:34] See, this is my problem. I'm writing something I don't know. Maybe that's why it isn't working. You have to live it, don't you? To be able to share it. Write what you know. That's what all the books say. Bonnie fixated on the muffin some more. I guess she managed to mumble.

[00:21:01] You guess, the man said, a little incredulous. Those lyrics are perfect. They're written by someone who understood, who knew what it was like. They're written by… Oh my goodness. They're written by you, aren't they? Bonnie looked up sharply. I'm right, he said. I'm right. You're Bonnie Ray.

[00:21:31] That's you sharing your life with the world. She didn't know what to say, but she let the man keep talking. Keep believing for a while that what he said was true. Finally, though, she could take it no longer. She said. He stopped mid-sentence. I'm sorry. But no.

[00:22:01] I don't know what it's like. Not really. I just… I just… I just made it up. She ended in a half whisper, shrugging her shoulders. I know nothing more about love than you do. The man refused to believe her. You're having me on, he said.

[00:22:30] But she shook her head. No. It was true. Everything she said was true. Everything she's saying, on the other hand, was make-believe.

[00:22:46] They were just lines she had written to be shared with an arena full of people, singing, and believing, and hoping, and dreaming that this could come true for them too. He broke the awkwardness by throwing back his head and laughing.

[00:23:15] And it didn't take much for Bonnie to join in. As she laughed, she was suddenly terribly aware that it had been a long time since she had laughed like that. Her cheeks hurting and her sides aching. And it made her laugh all the time.

[00:23:46] The two of them sat and laughed. And each time they looked at each other, they would start laughing all over again. Suddenly, Bonnie reached over and grabbed his hand.

[00:24:09] Looking into his dark brown eyes, as she said, with all the sincerity she could muster. Thank you. The laughter subsided, and they stayed looking at each other, his hand in hers. Thank you, she said again.

[00:24:36] And smiled shyly at the man, without letting go of her hand. He reached across the table with his free hand. And lightly brushed a finger down the side of her face. You're welcome, Bonnie Rae.

[00:25:04] Edward Brown is delighted to be at your service. More than delighted. Enchanted for the first time. Bonnie felt something inside that she had sung about so often, but never really known or believed.

[00:25:32] And anything she had said in her lyrics. Those lyrics that others had clung to, and repeated, and roared back at her as they were wrapped up in the drama of the concerts. Suddenly seemed so insignificant, compared to this very real feeling.

[00:26:01] Edward let go and reached for his pen. Scribbling something in his notebook. Then turning it so she could read aloud. I met her.

[00:26:18] And the world, she added softly, was full of light. He said quietly as he wrote. And for the first time, it was real.

[00:26:47] I met him, she said. Taking his hand once more. And everything was right. He smiled at her. We're writing lyrics, Bonnie Rae. Real lyrics. Honest.

[00:27:20] The determination she had felt for weeks. To just get up and be a part of the world again. But there was an extra surge she had felt that morning. An extra reason to stand in the shower. And choose her clothes. And paint her lips.

[00:27:50] She wondered if she had chosen the cafe on purpose. Seeing that it was so crowded. Putting herself in a position where she would almost inevitably meet somebody. Maybe that is all she had wanted.

[00:28:13] And this Edward Brown could readily be replaced by any other person out there. And she would have had this feeling of being alive once more. She just wanted it to be real. And so she made it happen.

[00:28:39] Perhaps she had known somewhere inside that just because she hadn't sung a single word for over a year, that didn't mean her songs wouldn't pour out of every radio every day. She would have had this moment. This moment was inevitable, really. If she thought about it.

[00:29:08] She wondered for a moment. What had made this man walk into the cafe that if he had seen her and conjured up this meeting with some weak story about writing a book to engage her in conversation?

[00:29:40] Perhaps she would never know that was the beauty of it. Falling and seeing if he would catch her. And taking a chance. Will you come somewhere with me? She asked. Her mind suddenly made up.

[00:30:08] I reckon so, he said. And that is how they found themselves. In the early afternoon. Walking first to a music store. And emerging with a guitar. Then heading through the doors into a quiet backstreet bar. Where a few old men sat with beers.

[00:30:35] Bonnie pulled a stool to the side. Closing her eyes. And tuning the guitar one string at a time. Humming softly to herself. The barman stood drying glasses. Wondering if he should interrupt.

[00:31:04] Or leave the lady to get on with it. Eventually deciding that if she was bad. The drinkers would soon tell her to leave. And if she was good. Then he was on to a winner. He let fate take this one. Bonnie settled herself. And let her fingers feel for the familiar chords.

[00:31:34] She looked up at the four men. With their backs turned to her. Eyes on their drinks. And then across to Edward. Who stood there watching. Waiting. Expectant. She couldn't remember the last time she had played to such a small audience.

[00:31:59] She couldn't remember the last time she had let the music pour from her. Not something she had practiced. And changed. And perfected. It was now or never. She decided. Now or never. That she could redefine who she.

[00:32:29] Bonnie Rae. Really was. The music guide you. Let the feelings guide you. And everything. She told herself. As she took a deep breath. Let her fingers find their places. And say. Let her.

[00:32:58] And the world changed. And for the first time. It was real. Everything was right.