Letting Go Of Other's Opinions ✨ Sleep Meditation

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Karissa Vacker and welcome back to Sleep Wave, a podcast where we let waves of relaxation wash over you through original sleep meditations created to help you fall asleep tonight.

[00:00:23] And don't worry if you don't hear the end of an episode. I encourage you to drift off whenever you're ready.

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[00:01:56] One of the most challenging things about putting yourself out there is negative feedback.

[00:02:08] I was chatting with a friend recently and she was wanting to share more on social media and also more in her life.

[00:02:15] But was hesitant because she doesn't really feel safe being vulnerable with many people.

[00:02:20] I personally think that there is no problem with this and that in our culture of oversharing, maintaining one's privacy is a good thing.

[00:02:29] That said, she is wanting to be more authentic in social situations so wanted to explore what she could do to change this hesitancy within herself.

[00:02:39] She said that she didn't take negative feedback well, who does?

[00:02:43] But what we ended up uncovering in our conversation was the importance of not taking things personally.

[00:02:50] I am an introverted person by nature. When I was a kid, I was painfully shy and would often stutter when people I didn't know would talk to me.

[00:02:59] But I also discovered I loved theater and acting and so got training on how to use my voice.

[00:03:05] I routinely put myself in uncomfortable situations like auditions until I could eventually put on my extroverted hat and then go back into my more familiar introverted state when it was over.

[00:03:18] That skill of choosing when to be on and out there has served me well in life.

[00:03:24] But I also struggled deeply with negative feedback on my work or offerings.

[00:03:30] It's gotten better though because I stopped taking things personally.

[00:03:34] I know this sounds like something a mom would say, forgive me, I am a mom.

[00:03:39] But truly, when people say negative things, they are more often than not about themselves more than you.

[00:03:47] It is a learned skill to see this though.

[00:03:50] Everyone we interact with in person and especially on social media has an image or idea about who we are.

[00:03:58] Sometimes that image is totally accurate in the case of our closest family and friends,

[00:04:04] but for acquaintances or complete strangers, they are reacting to who they think we are instead of who we actually are.

[00:04:13] That can trigger all kinds of things within others.

[00:04:16] They can treat us a certain way because we remind them of someone else who wronged them,

[00:04:21] or they think we're great even though they don't know us well.

[00:04:25] Meditation can be such a useful guide in learning to not take things personally.

[00:04:30] When you spend time in quiet stillness with yourself, you know who you truly are at your core.

[00:04:38] It becomes easier to be more loving and compassionate towards yourself

[00:04:43] and to let go of others' perceptions of you, especially if they don't match up with what you know to be true.

[00:04:50] Tonight we are going to sink into a deep sleep while we meditate together too.

[00:04:56] Letting go of others' opinions by Billy Gill.

[00:05:08] It's almost a cliche to tell someone not to take things personally.

[00:05:13] Of course, like all cliches, there's a kernel of profound truth,

[00:05:18] which usually gets lost when we hear the old platitudes enough times.

[00:05:23] The subtle yet vital realization that comes when we see the insight of not taking anything personally

[00:05:30] is that until we are able to adopt that attitude, it will be impossible to live authentically.

[00:05:37] Taking things personally is to enact an ethos of conformity.

[00:05:42] You might take it personally if someone were to criticize or offend you,

[00:05:46] that is, you might see yourself through the lens of the other person

[00:05:50] and in so doing you unwittingly accept their values and perspective.

[00:05:56] Why else would you take what they are saying to heart?

[00:05:59] To the extent that you take someone else's words or actions personally,

[00:06:04] you lose yourself as the center of your life.

[00:06:08] Consciously or unconsciously, you bestow that authority onto someone else.

[00:06:14] Living authentically requires you to embrace responsibility for your own choices

[00:06:20] and live in accordance with your own deepest values and convictions.

[00:06:26] Tonight's sleep meditation will soothe you to sleep by illuminating the gift of living authentically.

[00:06:33] When we practice letting go of attachments to external validation,

[00:06:38] whether it be from adhering to societal norms and expectations

[00:06:42] or any other would-be distractions from your authentic self,

[00:06:47] we invite the potential to transform the everydayness of mundane existence

[00:06:53] into a life of meaning, awareness, and fulfillment.

[00:06:58] Authentic living cultivates a heightened awareness of the present moment,

[00:07:03] allowing individuals to savor the beauty and richness of everyday experiences.

[00:07:09] When you approach life with authenticity and mindfulness,

[00:07:13] even the simplest moments take on a profound significance,

[00:07:18] imbued with a sense of wonder and gratitude.

[00:07:22] mundane activities become opportunities to connect with the essence of life itself,

[00:07:28] fostering a deep sense of contentment.

[00:07:33] As you settle in for the night, find a cozy and relaxed position in your bed,

[00:07:40] allowing your eyes to retreat inwardly.

[00:07:44] They relax away from your eyelids.

[00:07:48] Feel the whole of your being respond to this conscious relaxation of the eyes.

[00:07:57] Give yourself permission to make any final adjustments to your body, pillow, blanket, etc.

[00:08:09] Your breath flows easily when you are able to surrender your body weight into the bed.

[00:08:18] Keep your eyes gently closed and continue to imagine that your eyes are falling away from your eyelids

[00:08:27] as you bring your attention deeper and deeper inward.

[00:08:38] Become aware of the sensations of the sheets on your skin.

[00:08:45] As you inhale, sense the inspiration to live life fully in the present moment.

[00:08:54] The most authentic expression of reality is always here and now.

[00:09:03] The circumstances of your life in this moment are the authentic situation in which you find yourself.

[00:09:12] To a great degree, those circumstances are not of your own volition.

[00:09:18] The date and location of your birth, the people you interact with,

[00:09:23] and many other aspects of your existence are far beyond your control.

[00:09:30] However, acknowledging that fact and embracing the present moment as your starting point for individual self-realization

[00:09:39] is the foundation for authenticity.

[00:09:43] As you breathe out, allow yourself to release any tension that you are holding onto

[00:09:51] and surrender to what is.

[00:09:56] Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

[00:10:18] Continue breathing at your own pace and in your own time for a few moments.

[00:10:26] Breathe in, breathe out, breathe out.

[00:10:56] Breathe out.

[00:11:25] Another reason not to take anything personally is that many people, in an attempt to preserve their own ego structure,

[00:11:33] engage in a defense mechanism known as psychological projection,

[00:11:39] in which they attribute their own unconscious thoughts, feelings, desires, or qualities onto others.

[00:11:47] They may not even be aware that they are projecting their own feelings or thoughts onto others.

[00:11:54] Sometimes projection can involve self-deception,

[00:11:58] where someone convinces themselves that the qualities they are attributing to others

[00:12:04] are genuinely characteristics of those individuals rather than reflections of their own internal experiences.

[00:12:13] This allows their ego structure to maintain a sense of moral superiority while avoiding self-reflection.

[00:12:22] Recognizing and understanding projection can be a valuable step toward self-awareness, personal growth,

[00:12:30] and healthier relationships with others.

[00:12:37] Visualize yourself standing in a vast open field surrounded by tall grass and wildflowers waving in the breeze.

[00:12:51] The sky above is clear and expansive, stretching out infinitely in all directions.

[00:13:04] In this moment, you are grounded in your own unique being.

[00:13:10] Secure in the knowledge that you are free to strive for authenticity in your experience.

[00:13:20] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:13:40] As you breathe deeply, affirm to yourself,

[00:13:45] I am worthy of love and respect regardless of others' opinions or judgments.

[00:13:55] Again,

[00:13:58] I am worthy of love and respect regardless of others' opinions or judgments.

[00:14:22] I release the need to seek validation from external sources.

[00:14:30] Again,

[00:14:33] I release the need to seek validation from external sources.

[00:14:48] I embrace my authentic self.

[00:14:56] Again,

[00:14:58] I embrace my authentic self.

[00:15:05] Breathe in,

[00:15:09] breathe out.

[00:15:13] Breathe in,

[00:15:17] breathe out.

[00:15:27] Watching the belly rise and fall with each breath,

[00:15:34] the movement may be small or large.

[00:15:39] Let the breath unfold naturally,

[00:15:42] but observe the movement of the breath at the level of the navel.

[00:15:50] Inhale, navel rising.

[00:15:55] Exhale, navel falling.

[00:15:59] Inhale, navel rising.

[00:16:05] Exhale, navel falling.

[00:16:10] Inhale, navel rising.

[00:16:16] Exhale, navel falling.

[00:16:24] Continue on.

[00:16:40] Continue on.

[00:17:10] Continue on.

[00:17:27] From the top of the head to the tips of the toes,

[00:17:32] develop an awareness of the whole body.

[00:17:38] Whole body.

[00:17:48] Whole body.

[00:17:56] Whole body.

[00:18:04] O Baadee...

[00:18:08] The whole Baadee...

[00:18:15] The whole Baadee...

[00:18:21] The whole Baadee...

[00:18:27] O Baadee...

[00:18:33] O Baadee...

[00:18:38] The whole Baadee...

[00:18:57] O Baadee...

[00:19:04] The whole Baadee...

[00:19:06] The whole Baadee...

[00:19:16] The whole Baadee...

[00:19:24] Feel the body as a unified field of awareness.

[00:19:48] In that field, there are innumerable points that can become the focus of your attention.

[00:19:58] As we rotate conscious attention from point to point in this body scan, gently glance

[00:20:06] at each location and then allow your attention to travel throughout the body.

[00:20:15] Bring your awareness to the right hand.

[00:20:22] Right hand thumb, second finger, third finger, fourth finger, fifth finger, palm of the hand,

[00:20:36] back of the hand, the wrist, the lower arm, the elbow, the upper arm, the shoulder, the arm

[00:20:50] and the right waist, the right hip, the right thigh, the kneecap, the calf muscle, the ankle,

[00:21:05] the heel, the sole of the right foot, the top of the foot, the big toe, second toe, third

[00:21:18] toe, fourth toe, fifth toe.

[00:21:26] Become aware of the left hand thumb, second finger, third finger, fourth finger, fifth finger,

[00:21:39] thumb of the hand, back of the hand, the wrist, the lower arm, the elbow, the upper arm, the

[00:21:53] shoulder, the armpit, the left waist, the left hip, the left thigh, the kneecap, the

[00:22:06] calf muscle, the ankle, the heel, the sole of the left foot, the top of the foot, the big

[00:22:20] toe, second toe, third toe, fourth toe, fifth toe.

[00:22:31] Now the back.

[00:22:34] Become aware of the right shoulder blade, the left shoulder blade, the right buttock, the

[00:22:43] left buttock, the spine, the whole back together.

[00:22:54] Now go to the top of the head, the top of the head, the forehead, both sides of the head,

[00:23:06] the right eyebrow, the left eyebrow, the space between the eyebrows, the right eyelid, the

[00:23:17] left eyelid, the right eye, the left eye, the right ear, the left ear, the right cheek,

[00:23:30] the left cheek, the nose, the tip of the nose, the upper lip, the lower lip, the chin,

[00:23:46] the throat, the right chest, the left chest, the middle of the chest, the navel, the abdomen,

[00:24:03] the whole of the right leg, the whole of the left leg, both legs together.

[00:24:18] The whole of the right arm, the whole of the left arm, both arms together.

[00:24:30] The whole of the back, buttocks, spine, shoulder blades, the whole of the front, abdomen, chest,

[00:24:46] the whole of the back and front together. The whole of the head, the whole body together.

[00:25:00] The whole body together, the whole body together.

[00:26:30] Now, bring your awareness to any recent criticisms or negative feedback you may have received

[00:26:39] from others.

[00:26:44] Recognize that these comments are often a reflection of the other person's own insecurities,

[00:26:51] fears and projections rather than an accurate assessment of your worth or value.

[00:27:03] Imagine these criticisms as clouds passing by in the vast sky above you.

[00:27:12] Watch them drift away, dissolving into the ether, leaving behind only a sense of peace and tranquility.

[00:27:42] Now, bring your awareness to any recent criticisms or negative feedback you may have received from others.

[00:27:55] Now, bring your awareness to any recent criticisms or negative feedback you may have received from others.

[00:28:24] In the stillness of this moment, remember the phenomena of projection as others unconsciously create their own defense mechanisms to protect their ego structures.

[00:28:39] Understand that when others criticize or judge us harshly, they may be projecting their own unresolved issues onto us.

[00:28:50] By recognizing this, we can free ourselves from the burden of taking their words personally.

[00:28:59] Instead, we may experience a sense of compassion for them.

[00:29:06] Understand that the opinions and actions of others are a reflection of their own inner world, not a reflection of your true worth or identity.

[00:29:20] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:29:50] Breathe out.

[00:30:20] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:30:42] As you continue to breathe deeply, feel a sense of liberation wash over you.

[00:30:50] Release any lingering doubts or insecurities, knowing that you are worthy of love and acceptance exactly as you are.

[00:31:06] Your authentic expression of your inner being is one of the sacred gifts of being alive.

[00:31:15] Nourish the ability to be yourself and soften the layers of protection that have formed as a result of taking other people's criticisms or opinions personally.

[00:31:30] Trust that your own authentic heart is enough.

[00:31:36] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:31:42] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:31:49] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:32:19] Breathe out.

[00:32:29] Breathe out.

[00:32:39] Breathe out.

[00:32:55] In this space of authenticity, you are empowered to stand firm in the truth of your being, to speak your mind with confidence and to live from your own moral center.

[00:33:12] You are a beacon of light, radiating love, compassion and authenticity to the world around you.

[00:33:23] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:33:31] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:33:39] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:33:53] Breathe out.

[00:34:03] Breathe out.

[00:34:13] Breathe out.

[00:34:23] Breathe out.

[00:34:33] Breathe out.

[00:34:46] As you drift off to sleep, carry with you the knowledge that you are enough just as you are.

[00:34:56] Embrace your authenticity and let go of the need to take things personally.

[00:35:03] As you sense the life that you are living day in and day out, remember that in this present moment, these people and places that you encounter each day are the very ground upon which you can stand to embody your most authentic realization of yourself.

[00:35:25] When we see the world this way, it becomes illuminated as the essence of life itself.

[00:35:33] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:35:40] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:35:47] Breathe in, breathe out.

[00:36:17] Breathe out.

[00:36:27] Breathe out.

[00:36:37] Breathe out.

[00:36:55] Sleep deeply now and awaken, refreshed, ready to embrace each new day with an open heart and a peaceful mind.

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