Learning Radical Acceptance ✨ Sleep Meditation

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[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, I'm Carissa Vacker and welcome back to Sleep Wave,

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_01]: a podcast where we let waves of relaxation wash over you through original sleep meditations

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_02]: created to help you fall asleep tonight.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02]: And don't worry if you don't hear the end of an episode, I encourage you to drift off

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_02]: whenever you're ready.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Before we get started on tonight's episode, I'd like to say thanks again for all of

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[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_02]: of the other networks too.

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[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_02]: them relax and fall asleep each night.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_01]: We all have thoughts or feelings arise from time to time that we wish we could skip.

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_02]: It can be uncomfortable or even feel invasive when these arise.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_02]: So what are we to do?

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_01]: A very common response can be to numb out unwanted thoughts or feelings with whatever

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_01]: has worked in the past.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_01]: While this can work in the moment to distract us, those same thoughts or feelings will likely

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_01]: pop right back up when whatever we've done to distract ourselves is over.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_01]: A pretty powerful side effect of meditation though is that we can learn to sit with,

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_01]: observe and move through these thoughts and feelings.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not saying that this is always easy, preferable or even holy possible in all cases.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Still, meditation before sleep can help us tiptoe toward having the ability and even

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_01]: desire to sit with our thoughts and feelings.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_01]: They become less scary and overwhelming and more familiar.

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I like to compare them to that monster under the bed that we may have been scared of

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_01]: in childhood.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Once you look your particular monster in the eye, they become less of a thing

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_02]: to fear and it's more of an, oh hi, it's you again.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I see that you're here and you can go anytime.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_02]: In fact, I encourage having this exact conversation with your own personal

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_01]: monster, be it fear, anxiety, stress, whirling thoughts.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Having a conversation with them makes them other than you.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_01]: They are simply a visitor passing through.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_02]: When we don't identify so strongly with particular thoughts or feelings,

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_02]: it naturally creates space for them to both exist and leave.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Have you ever heard the phrase, what you resist persists?

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_02]: What you look at disappears?

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: That beautifully describes this phenomenon.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Another tool I enjoy using when I'm having those less than pleasant thoughts

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_01]: and feelings arise is to allow them to physically move through me.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I do this in a couple ways.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_01]: One, I move in a big way, be it on a walk or a workout or doing some stretching or yoga.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Or two, I move in a small way.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_01]: For me, this means allowing my body to move while I sit in meditation.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe I roll my neck or stretch my back or shake out my hands.

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes I add a deep breath or a sound with it, an audible sigh,

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_01]: a chant or mantra, oh, it's always nice.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Or, hey, even a quiet scream because sometimes life just calls for that.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Tonight we are going to settle in and allow radical acceptance of our thoughts,

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_01]: feelings and circumstances to roll through us,

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_01]: reminding ourselves that all of these are temporary.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Take a breath and get cozy as we meditate together to

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Learning Radical Acceptance by Billy Gill.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Any stressful situation can be an opportunity to practice radical acceptance.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Really, this just means that you are willing to accept a situation

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_01]: that is distressing or uncomfortable.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_01]: To understand why this is called radical acceptance and not merely acceptance,

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_01]: it's helpful to think about the deep meaning of the word radical.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: It comes from the Latin word for root, radix.

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Radical implies an attitude based on premises that are foundational.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_01]: In radical acceptance, the foundational premise of acceptance

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_01]: applies to even the most difficult to accept situations.

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean approval or inaction.

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_01]: On the contrary, acceptance can be a coping skill

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_01]: that allows one to take meaningful action in the face of a stressful circumstance.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_01]: If we find certain realities too painful to acknowledge,

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_01]: it can leave us feeling paralyzed,

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_01]: unable to attend to the required tasks or decisions that might improve things.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Radical acceptance is the basic stance that acknowledges reality

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_01]: with an eye toward mindfulness.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindful acceptance fosters a less reactive response

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01]: to the thoughts and emotions that come up when we are faced with difficulties.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_01]: The ability to stay in a non-judgmental state as thoughts and feelings arise

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_01]: presents us with opportunities to act in ways that align with our values.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: In other words, acceptance has the power to put us back in touch with ourselves

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: and what's important to us in life.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes we are going through tough times

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and we feel as though these emotions or circumstances are permanent.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: We can become resigned.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_01]: There's an important distinction between acceptance and resignation.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Resignation means that we don't expect that things will ever improve.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Acceptance, on the other hand, is a dynamic and real-time way

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_01]: of regulating our emotions and our attitude.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_01]: This dynamic regulation aspect of acceptance

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01]: empowers us to return again and again to the present moment,

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_01]: engaging with life in the here and now.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Resignation is a kind of final pronouncement that things are the way they are,

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: that one must relinquish desires that seem to run counter to the current conditions.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Acceptance allows us to feel our feelings fully

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_01]: while acknowledging the transient nature of feelings and circumstances.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Some consider acceptance to be the opposite of resignation.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: An attitude of resignation might mean one has given up

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and is no longer striving for a fulfilling life,

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: whereas acceptance leads to responses that align with one's values,

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_01]: participating in the process of life instead of remaining passive.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Tonight's sleep meditation is a transformative journey

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_01]: into the realm of radical acceptance and mindful empowerment.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_01]: As you prepare for a restful night's sleep,

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_01]: find a comfortable position in your bed,

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_01]: allowing your body to sink into the comfort beneath you.

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Take a deep breath in,

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_01]: exhaling slowly and release any tension or apprehension that may linger within.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Give yourself permission to be here now.

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Let your thoughts flow without the need to change anything.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_01]: People often become aware of specific thoughts

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: while letting others fade into the background.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_01]: The mind selectively engages with certain thoughts,

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_01]: influenced by factors such as emotions,

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_01]: priorities and current circumstances.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_01]: It's similar to a social media feed.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_01]: We engage with some of the content and let some of it scroll right past.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Our preferences, interests and the algorithmic curation of the feed inform our experience.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Certain thoughts are more compelling to us for various reasons,

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_01]: and to the extent that we favor those thoughts in our awareness,

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_01]: they disproportionately inform the quality of our minds.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_01]: As you breathe slowly in and out through your nostrils,

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_01]: let your breath be the central focus of your attention.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_01]: See if you can let each thought that occurs scroll right past your awareness.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Some of them may be more interesting to you

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_01]: than you may feel more inclined to entertain those thoughts.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Simply return to the easy rhythm of your breath,

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_01]: favoring the sensations and the movement of your breath

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_01]: over the images or concepts that occur to you in thought.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_01]: There's no need to push or pull on any thoughts,

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_01]: except then allow whatever arises.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_01]: But don't hold on to anything.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Let the thoughts scroll right past.

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Unlike social media feeds, however, which seemingly never come to an end,

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_01]: your thoughts may indeed become very quiet, perhaps even silent.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_01]: If that inner silence appears, continue to focus on the gentle flow of your breath

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_01]: and accept the silence without any clinging or grasping.

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Breathe and watch your thoughts pass on by for a few moments.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Radical acceptance is a mindful approach to acknowledging and embracing

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_01]: difficult circumstances without surrendering to complacency.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_01]: With each breath envision a soft, radiant light enveloping you,

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_01]: creating a space of peace and understanding as you enter this state of relaxation.

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Imagine yourself standing on the shores of a serene lake.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_01]: The water reflects the calmness within you, and the surrounding nature

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_01]: exudes a sense of harmony.

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Feel the ground beneath your feet grounding you in the present moment.

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Now turn your attention to any challenging circumstances that may be weighing on you.

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Picture them as ripples on the surface of the lake, gently disturbing the stillness.

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Acknowledge these difficulties without judgment, allowing them to exist in the vastness

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_01]: of your awareness. With each breath, invite a sense of radical acceptance into your being.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Embrace the truth that some aspects of life are beyond your control.

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And yet within this acceptance lies the power to choose how you respond.

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Picture the ripples subsiding as you release resistance and open yourself to the flow of

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_01]: life. See a lotus flower floating on the surface of the water.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_01]: The colorful petals are a splash of radiance on the darkness of the water.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_01]: The leaves are wet, but the lotus petals are dry.

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_01]: The petals are a symbol of a transcendent awareness that we all innately possess.

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_01]: The ability to understand a part of ourselves that isn't so embroiled in the ups and downs of life.

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_01]: The lotus flower has its roots down deep in the mud,

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_01]: but there is a part that isn't touched by the water at all.

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_01]: This transcendent attitude of a witnessing presence that is not touched by the content of the mind

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_01]: allows for acceptance of the mud and muck. A mud symbolizes the challenges, struggles,

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and all around messiness of life. The phrase no mud, no lotus teaches us that we must accept

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_01]: these difficulties if we are to reach our highest form. Accepting the mud, the lotus grows and

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_01]: blossoms brilliantly. Accepting ourselves, the difficult feelings, and even our own

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_01]: shortcomings presents us with the opportunity to transform those very difficulties.

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_01]: They may even be the catalyst that brings about the transformation.

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_01]: As you continue to breathe deeply, consider the values that guide your actions.

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Visualize these values as sturdy roots anchoring you to the ground, providing a stable foundation.

[00:20:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Recognize that radical acceptance does not imply passivity, but rather an acknowledgement of

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_01]: reality, allowing you to respond in alignment with your deepest principles. Breathe in, breathe out,

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_01]: breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Picture yourself stepping into the light,

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_01]: feeling the cool water around your ankles. With each step, affirm your commitment to live

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_01]: in accordance with your values. Accepting what is, you are empowered to participate in life

[00:21:35] [SPEAKER_01]: and respond to each moment with clear eyes. As you move forward, the water becomes a metaphor for

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_01]: the flow of life and you navigate it with purpose and intention. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in,

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_01]: breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Allow your belly to rise and fall with the breath.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_01]: The belly is soft and relaxed. Each inhale causes the navel to rise.

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Each exhale makes the navel fall. Inhale, navel rising.

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Exhale, navel falling. Inhale, navel rising.

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Exhale, navel falling. Inhale, navel rising.

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Exhale, navel falling. From this place of deep relaxation,

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_01]: feel yourself in harmony with what is. Allow what is to be. Accepting a situation

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_01]: doesn't mean that it has your approval. It simply means that you acknowledge the reality

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_01]: of what is happening or what has happened. It means taking a compassionate,

[00:25:12] [SPEAKER_01]: non-judgmental approach to the situation and the emotions that surround it. Acceptance

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_01]: has a way of bringing us fully into the present moment so that we are more alive

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and more engaged with reality. Many of the unhealthy behaviors we engage in when we don't

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_01]: want to accept a situation or the associated thoughts and feelings stem from a lack of

[00:25:52] [SPEAKER_01]: acceptance, a need to escape reality. Come back to your breath. Come back to the present moment.

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_01]: See yourself moving through the water. As you approach the lotus flower,

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_01]: it floats at the level of your navel. Breathing slowly and smoothly in and out through the nose.

[00:26:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Follow the movement of your navel. Inhale, navel rising.

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Exhale, navel falling. Inhale, navel rising. Exhale, navel falling.

[00:26:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Inhale, navel rising. Exhale, navel falling. The navel is a radiant center for personal empowerment.

[00:27:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Sense the warm, radiant light that emanates from the center of your navel

[00:27:27] [SPEAKER_01]: and fills your entire being. The lotus reminds you to remain in the attitude of a witness.

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_01]: The warm, radiant energy of the navel reminds you to move confidently through difficult times.

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Remain mindful when you're approached to acceptance.

[00:28:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Thoughts come and go. Circumstances and conditions flow.

[00:28:11] [SPEAKER_01]: If you feel yourself resisting whatever is arising, practice acceptance of that resistance as well.

[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_01]: See it as part of the process. Honor the present moment as a gift.

[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_01]: See each moment as a guide from beyond to help you on your journey.

[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Embrace what is and embrace yourself as you are.

[00:28:48] [SPEAKER_01]: If there is some behavior that you need to change in your life,

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_01]: acceptance is not about perpetuating that behavior. Rather, accept the reality

[00:29:05] [SPEAKER_01]: that those patterns are not serving your highest evolution and allow your values

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_01]: to guide your actions. Accepting what is, your mind becomes steady and calm.

[00:29:42] [SPEAKER_01]: You are aligning with what is. Unless you are able to accept what is,

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_01]: you are in a state of tension with reality. It's as though you are moving through a fog

[00:30:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and you can't see clearly what is right in front of you.

[00:30:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Radical acceptance is a beacon that shines through the fog to light your way. Breathe in,

[00:30:18] [SPEAKER_00]: breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Relax deeply into the truth of what is.

[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Let reality shine the light of truth on your life and have confidence in your ability to

[00:32:35] [SPEAKER_01]: respond appropriately in alignment with your values. Only when you are in accord with what is,

[00:32:46] [SPEAKER_01]: will you be able to embrace the life that is waiting for you.

[00:32:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Sleep, sleep, sleep.