[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Karissa Vacker and welcome back to Sleep Wave. A podcast where we let waves of relaxation
[00:00:18] wash over you through original sleep meditations, create it to help you fall asleep tonight.
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[00:01:28] About a decade ago when I was deep into my yoga and meditation path, I first heard the term
[00:01:37] Dark Knight of the Soul. I didn't have any idea what it was but I was pretty sure I wanted
[00:01:43] nothing to do with it. I wanted things to be light and easy as much as possible. But as it does,
[00:01:51] life happened to me and things got challenging and when someone suggested I might be having a
[00:01:56] dark night of the soul, I looked back into it. In basic terms, it's a time usually brought on by
[00:02:03] some sort of difficult event, the death of a loved one or another loss or significant transition
[00:02:10] of some kind. It often makes you question the meaning of your current path, your identity,
[00:02:16] or what was previously very important to you. The end of it is often marked by the feeling of
[00:02:21] rebirth or real weakening, where your perspective shifts in a way that it was unable to before.
[00:02:28] While I don't know that I had a true Dark Knight of the Soul all those years ago,
[00:02:33] I certainly feel like I have undergone one now. While the concept can be scary as none of us
[00:02:39] wants to undergo challenging transitions, I like to focus on the rebirth aspect. We all go through
[00:02:47] so many changes throughout our lives. Who you were as a child was different from your identity as a
[00:02:52] teen or young adult or a fully grown person. Each time you go through one of these transitions,
[00:02:59] your perspective and attitude shift and you become slightly different. The difference of a
[00:03:05] Dark Knight of the Soul shift, however, is that the shift of perspective feels more permanent
[00:03:11] and deeply ingrained across any other life transitions you may undergo.
[00:03:16] It's indeed something that feels more soul deep, and in my experience quite positive.
[00:03:22] It's something that can make you deeper and wiser and more clear on what is important in life.
[00:03:29] Whether or not you feel like you've experienced a Dark Knight of the Soul,
[00:03:33] meditation can be integral in helping us through all the big shifts life is going to offer us.
[00:03:39] It allows us to better hear and heed our intuition. To be able to be calm even through turbulent times
[00:03:46] and whirling thoughts and gives us a safe, soft place within ourselves to experience rest and peace.
[00:03:56] Tonight we are going to immerse ourselves in this inner quiet and rest as we contemplate
[00:04:01] the many lessons and gifts that deep life transitions may offer us.
[00:04:07] Get cozy, allow your day to slip away as we sink into comfort and ease and meditate together to
[00:04:15] from Dark to Light by Billy Kill.
[00:04:19] In modern times, the phrase Dark Knight of the Soul is used to describe a crisis of faith
[00:04:34] or a difficult, painful period in one's life. The origins of that phrase though stem from
[00:04:41] the Spanish priest Mystic and poet of the 16th century named Saint John of the Cross.
[00:04:47] He wrote a treatise called Nochea Escura, which was a commentary of his poem of the same name.
[00:04:54] The Spanish word for Dark, Escura, has the same root as the English word obscure.
[00:05:01] The original Latin, Escuras literally means to cover over or to make Dark.
[00:05:07] It's this sense of the word, Dark that is most important in John of the Cross' poem.
[00:05:13] Today we associate Darkness with something unpleasant or scary, but John saw this darkness
[00:05:20] as more lovely than the dawn. It's the Darkness of Egolessness. Ego is Latin for I.
[00:05:28] Saint John describes the last vestiges of Ego merging with the Divine as the night that joined
[00:05:35] beloved with lover. The conscious mind is associated with the day because we are awake during
[00:05:42] the day. As diurnal beings, diurnal being the opposite of nocturnal,
[00:05:47] we are most active during the day when the sun is in the sky. We are adapted to the light of
[00:05:53] the sun and our biology reflects that relationship. There's a fundamental set of conditions in our
[00:05:59] humaneness that are inseparable from our existence. We have hormones that tell us to wake up when
[00:06:05] the sun is in the sky, and those that tell us to sleep and dream when it isn't. Darkness and
[00:06:11] light are the warp and wolf of the fabric of our experience. When there is light we can see with
[00:06:17] our eyes, but the Dark Knight of the Soul is a phase of spiritual development that transcends
[00:06:23] the light of day, that is to say the Ego, the feeling of conscious waking self-awareness.
[00:06:31] As you lie in your bed, notice that you are on the edge of this conscious awareness.
[00:06:37] Perhaps you still feel fully conscious or you have noticed small gaps in the quality of your
[00:06:43] attention. You may be at the beginning of sleep or in the hypnagogic state which
[00:06:48] hovers between wakefulness and sleep, a fertile state for making suggestions to yourself.
[00:06:55] That is because your subconscious can easily integrate those suggestions in the hypnagogic state.
[00:07:02] The subconscious will then proceed to influence your conscious waking life in every direction
[00:07:07] and habit you perform throughout the day. The dark corresponds to the unconscious.
[00:07:15] The unconscious contains aspects of our personality that are hidden from our conscious awareness,
[00:07:21] including repressed memories, forgotten experiences, and aspects of ourselves of which we are not
[00:07:28] consciously aware. It's dark because it is hidden from view. It's hidden from view because it is dark.
[00:07:37] Nonetheless a profound shift in the subconscious mind can signal and evoke a profound shift in
[00:07:43] the choices, thoughts, feelings and behavior, all of which constitute a person's character.
[00:07:50] A dark night of the soul as it was understood by St. John of the Cross,
[00:07:55] signifies the later phases of spiritual awakening when one is truly ready to step into the unknown
[00:08:02] toward the inner call that beckons them. Take a moment now and just breathe.
[00:08:09] Feel the comfort of your bed, acknowledge the darkness of the room around you.
[00:08:20] Feel safe and cozy even in this dark room, even in this quiet place.
[00:08:30] Here you can truly explore your inner life, your inner calling.
[00:08:44] Let's take some time to breathe now. Inhale and exhale.
[00:08:54] Inhale and exhale.
[00:09:06] Inhale and exhale.
[00:09:13] Continue breathing at your own pace deeply and slowly for some time.
[00:10:53] Inhale and exhale.
[00:11:01] Continue now our exploration of the dark night of the soul.
[00:11:25] St. John of the Cross drew his inspiration in this understanding of the dark night.
[00:11:32] From the works of Dionysius Ariapigite, the sixth century philosopher who advocated for a mystical
[00:11:39] theology he believed that God is better characterized and approached by what it isn't rather than what
[00:11:48] it is. According to Dionysius, when all names and representations are negated,
[00:11:55] divine silence, darkness and unknowing will follow. Because the transcendent is, by definition,
[00:12:04] beyond human capacity to grasp, surrender into unknowing is required for the final unselving
[00:12:13] and surrender to the hidden purposes of the divine will. Therefore, it's often marked by
[00:12:21] confusion and helplessness or in the words of the poet, darkness more lovely than the dawn.
[00:12:31] The process of transcending the ego translates to the realm of psychological transformation.
[00:12:38] The phenomenon of shedding the familiar conditions of the past and the structures that have
[00:12:45] supported a sense of identity up until the moment of transformation resonates with the dark night.
[00:12:52] It isn't inherently difficult, although what difficult and painful period is sometimes
[00:12:58] the impetus for such a transformation. When everything is lost and all seems darkness,
[00:13:06] then comes the new life and all that is needed.
[00:13:14] Psychiatrist Gerald J. May suggests, however, that if someone is aware that they are experiencing
[00:13:21] a dark night, it may not be the authentic transformative process that characterizes this spiritual journey.
[00:13:30] Instead, it could be a self-imposed or artificially constructed experience that lacks the depth
[00:13:40] and spontaneity of genuine spiritual transformation.
[00:13:46] May emphasizes that the dark night of the soul is a profound and often unexpected experience
[00:13:54] that involves a deep sense of spiritual desolation, abandonment or crisis.
[00:14:02] It is not something that can be manufactured or consciously sought after.
[00:14:09] Therefore, if an individual is consciously aware of going through such a process,
[00:14:15] it might indicate a different psychological or spiritual state rather than the authentic dark night
[00:14:22] of the soul as described by St. John, as you continue to breathe deeply and gently
[00:14:32] imagine yourself surrounded by darkness. But this darkness is not frightening or oppressive.
[00:14:42] It is a gentle, comforting presence like a warm blanket enveloping you in its embrace.
[00:14:52] Allow yourself to feel safe and secure within this darkness, knowing that it holds the promise of
[00:15:05] transformation and renewal.
[00:15:14] In your own life, there may have been periods of time when you felt lost in the darkness,
[00:15:22] with a sense of rudderlessness or despair.
[00:15:28] Consider that in those times, there was deep transformation and growth happening beneath your
[00:15:37] conscious awareness. Reflect on how these dark nights have shaped you.
[00:15:44] How they have deepened your empathy, strengthen your resilience,
[00:15:55] and expanded your capacity for love and compassion.
[00:16:04] Like the night sky scattered with countless stars, each one of your dark nights holds its own
[00:16:13] unique beauty and significance, illuminating the path toward greater self-awareness and enlightenment.
[00:17:13] As you continue to meditate on the loveliness of your own dark nights,
[00:17:31] feel a sense of gratitude welling up within you.
[00:17:36] gratitude for the lessons learned,
[00:17:48] the growth experienced,
[00:17:56] and the profound beauty discovered amidst the darkness.
[00:18:06] Allow this gratitude to fill your heart and soul,
[00:18:13] like a gentle stream flowing through the depths of your being,
[00:18:20] washing away any lingering doubts or fears.
[00:19:05] You are now calm and steady.
[00:19:36] Your facial muscles are relaxed.
[00:19:43] The forehead is smooth.
[00:19:50] The bridge of your nose spreads wide across your face.
[00:19:55] The eyes fall away from the eyelids.
[00:20:05] The breath is slow and even.
[00:20:13] Begin by taking a comfortable inhale through both nostrils.
[00:20:18] Notice the breath pause and then exhale through the mouth.
[00:20:28] Again, inhale through both nostrils.
[00:20:34] Pause, exhale through the mouth and register a natural pause at the bottom of the exhale.
[00:20:43] Once more, inhale through both nostrils.
[00:20:53] Pause, exhale through the mouth.
[00:20:59] Pause.
[00:21:02] At any point if you feel the need to return to this way of breathing,
[00:21:08] feel free to do so.
[00:21:12] In general, the energy of the right nostril and the energy of the left nostril fluctuate throughout
[00:21:20] today. In this practice we are paying attention to how the energy flows in each nostril but never
[00:21:30] becoming forceful with the breath.
[00:21:33] With practice, you will become very attuned to the sensations of the breath on the right and left side.
[00:21:47] The right and left nostrils are really stimulating the right and left sides of the body.
[00:21:54] As you try to direct your awareness with each alternating breath,
[00:22:03] don't worry too much if you don't feel the breath switch from the right to left.
[00:22:10] There's no need to use your hands to manipulate the nostrils either.
[00:22:17] Although there are some methods of practice that use the hands to manually shift the breath
[00:22:23] from side to side, for our purposes simply shift from one nostril to the other using only your
[00:22:32] intention. Your intention is enough. We will now practice alternate nostril breathing.
[00:22:44] Again, when you are ready, by inhaling through the left nostril and notice the pause at the top
[00:22:54] of your breath. Imagine that the energy of the breath has been gathered at the center of the brow.
[00:23:04] As you exhale, using your intention, release the breath slowly through your right nostril.
[00:23:17] Notice the brief pause as your exhale turns into an inhale through the right nostril,
[00:23:25] drawing the energy of the breath to the brow center.
[00:23:32] Exhale through the left nostril and feel the whole left side of the body relax.
[00:23:41] Inhale through both nostrils, pause, exhale through both nostrils, pause.
[00:23:57] This completes one cycle of alternate nostril breathing.
[00:24:02] If you need to take a round or two of easy breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth,
[00:24:13] give yourself permission to breathe in this way or however the breath naturally wants to move
[00:24:21] when you are ready for another cycle of alternate nostril breathing.
[00:24:26] Inhale through the left nostril, notice the pause at the center of the brow.
[00:24:36] Exhale through your right nostril, the whole right side of the body relaxes.
[00:24:47] Pause.
[00:24:50] Inhale again through the right nostril, gathering energy at the center of the brow,
[00:25:00] pause there. Exhale through the left nostril, the whole left side of the body relaxes.
[00:25:12] Pause.
[00:25:16] Inhale through both nostrils, exhale through both nostrils to complete the cycle.
[00:25:27] Go on practicing alternate nostril breathing.
[00:27:13] Pause.
[00:27:32] The dark night isn't merely a period of suffering to be endured,
[00:27:38] but an opportunity for profound spiritual growth and transformation.
[00:27:46] It's a natural part of the spiritual journey, a necessary stage through which people must pass
[00:27:55] in order to deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationship to transcendence.
[00:28:04] Pause.
[00:28:06] Surrender and acceptance during the dark night, rather than resistance will bring about the
[00:28:13] renewal and the rebirth into something altogether new, something dawning out of the darkest night.
[00:29:03] Pause.
[00:29:08] Pause.
[00:29:25] If the dark night does occur in the form of profound suffering,
[00:29:31] have compassion for yourself in the midst of the difficulties.
[00:29:37] Know that this crucible is a sacred process for your own spiritual renewal.
[00:29:46] Trust that you are being guided, not just in the darkness, but that it is the darkness itself
[00:29:55] that is guiding you toward the most radiant dawn.
[00:30:55] Pause.
[00:31:02] Surrendering into the unknown is a leap of faith that many people would not willingly take on themselves.
[00:31:13] The dark night of the soul is a passive phase of spiritual development.
[00:31:19] It is something that happens to you.
[00:31:26] You are supported as you move into deeper, darker, more mysterious and more beautiful realms of your own being.
[00:32:18] Pause.
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[00:34:36] Sleep.
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