Overcoming Resistance for Better Habits ✨ Guided Sleep Meditation

[00:00:10] Good evening Sleepwavers, Carissa here. We've got a really lovely meditation for you tonight, all about letting go of resistance. Before we dive into it though, I wanted to say a special hello and thank you to listener Hannah who left the most beautiful review. I'll read you a few of her words. She says that she loves the show for its positive, creative, mindful, and motivational content that has my mind thinking in healthy directions before I sleep,

[00:00:38] creating a deeper, happier sleep. I recommend Sleepwave to everyone. Thank you so much Hannah for these and for all your kind words. We are so honored to have you as a listener.

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[00:01:24] So, back to the matter at hand. Have you ever felt yourself being deeply resistant to something? Boy, I have. I am someone who really loves when things are steady, dependable, and routine.

[00:01:38] So, when change comes around, like it does for us all, I often push against it. I resist it with all my might.

[00:01:47] But you know what? All that resistance is exhausting. I recently found myself thinking, what is the opposite of resistance?

[00:01:56] And the word that came was soften. Resistance is hard and unyielding, whereas softening creates space and, well, softness.

[00:02:08] I've been experimenting with this, with letting the emotion be there, be it fear, anxiety, stress, and consciously softening around it.

[00:02:17] Just letting go of the need to fight it or push against it or rationalize it.

[00:02:22] Just softening. And by doing this, I can subtly notice it transform and shift into something less reactive.

[00:02:31] I feel a sense of relief and freedom.

[00:02:35] And if it's a decision to make or a situation that needs to be dealt with that began the resistance,

[00:02:41] from this softer place, I can better make choices and move forward with more clarity.

[00:02:46] And what better time to soften than right before sleep?

[00:02:51] Any resistance you may be carrying, be it physical or emotional, you naturally let go of when you sleep.

[00:02:59] But if you find yourself waking up in the night still thinking about it, or having fitful sleep,

[00:03:05] consciously softening toward any resistance before sleep can help you sleep better, longer, and deeper.

[00:03:12] Furthermore, when you wake up in the morning, you may have a different perspective toward those things that once brought up resistance in you.

[00:03:20] Billy and I were chatting about this concept one night this week before going to bed,

[00:03:23] and we both agreed to try it this week.

[00:03:26] We've both found that our weeks went smoother.

[00:03:29] We felt happier and more at ease.

[00:03:31] It's something we're going to keep trying to consciously implement into our routines.

[00:03:36] Tonight, we're all going to try it together in this beautiful, resistance-softening meditation Billy wrote for us.

[00:03:44] So, get cozy, take a deep breath, and just let my voice guide you as we meditate together.

[00:04:03] In the Eastern traditions of spiritual inquiry, there is a phrase, Sarva Dukkha.

[00:04:09] It means, all is suffering.

[00:04:12] At first, it may seem like a rather gloomy outlook, especially for traditions like yoga and Buddhism,

[00:04:19] whose adherents seem to project an aura of joy, peace, and calm.

[00:04:24] One might imagine that anyone who starts from such a premise must have a rain cloud hanging over their head.

[00:04:32] In practice, though, the opposite seems to be the case.

[00:04:36] Many of the serious practitioners of yoga or Buddhist monks are often seen smiling and laughing,

[00:04:45] emanating an uncanny kind of happiness with everyone they encounter.

[00:04:50] The phrase, Sarva Dukkha, points to the emphasis these traditions place on the transcendence of suffering.

[00:04:57] The practices they employ to do just that have shown themselves to actually increase a sense of joy,

[00:05:05] radiance, and harmony with life, as well as a compassion for others.

[00:05:10] The reason lies in the fact that these philosophies place great importance on releasing the tension

[00:05:17] that comes from an attitude of attachment, grasping, or clinging to material things.

[00:05:24] This doesn't necessarily mean that the material world is bad.

[00:05:28] It just means that it doesn't bring about an end to suffering.

[00:05:32] In fact, it's the very idea that the material world could ever bring true and lasting fulfillment,

[00:05:40] which is seen as the root cause of suffering according to these traditions.

[00:05:45] Alan Watts, a philosopher known for his work interpreting Eastern philosophies for Western audiences,

[00:05:53] often discussed the nature of suffering.

[00:05:56] One of his key ideas was that much of the suffering associated with pain

[00:06:02] comes not from the pain itself, but from wishing it weren't there.

[00:06:08] Physical pain is really just sensory feedback from our nerves.

[00:06:12] And while it's certainly unpleasant,

[00:06:15] the mental struggle we create when we resist it can be much more unpleasant

[00:06:21] and even exacerbate the pain signals themselves.

[00:06:25] Physical pain is a signal for us to avoid harm or seek healing.

[00:06:31] Psychological suffering arises when we resist reality,

[00:06:35] worry about the future, or relive past events.

[00:06:39] The process by which we can gradually release resistance to what is

[00:06:44] and return to a positive and empowering relationship with life is acceptance.

[00:06:50] It's not always a straight shot.

[00:06:54] Acceptance can be a winding path.

[00:06:56] Just like any practice,

[00:06:58] it's a habit that becomes stronger with our conscious attention

[00:07:02] as we remind ourselves again and again to let go of resistance

[00:07:08] and return to the now,

[00:07:10] which is the point at which life manifests

[00:07:13] and presents itself to our consciousness in space and time.

[00:07:19] Let's ease into this meditation on overcoming resistance with a sense of softness,

[00:07:25] acknowledging how difficult it can be to accept things as they are.

[00:07:30] Take, for instance, the habit of meditation.

[00:07:34] Very often we know that we should meditate,

[00:07:38] but for one reason or another, there is resistance.

[00:07:42] When we take time to acknowledge resistance,

[00:07:46] we actually get more in touch with the habit or quality that we wish to cultivate.

[00:07:51] It's by bringing awareness to our patterns of resistance

[00:07:55] that its tangled snare begins to unravel.

[00:07:59] Otherwise, when we persist in resistance by not recognizing its telltale signs,

[00:08:06] we procrastinate or make excuses.

[00:08:09] We become perfectionists or experience overwhelm.

[00:08:14] We say we lack motivation or we numb out to avoid the task at hand.

[00:08:19] It's remarkable the lengths we will go to in the name of resistance.

[00:08:24] Notice any sense of resistance that may be arising around a goal or a habit

[00:08:32] that you have been wanting to cultivate.

[00:08:37] Breathe in through the nose,

[00:08:39] and as you exhale,

[00:08:41] allow yourself to be here,

[00:08:43] in this moment,

[00:08:45] with all the resistance you may be carrying.

[00:08:49] Try not to judge what's coming up for you.

[00:08:53] Again,

[00:08:54] breathe in through the nose,

[00:08:57] pause for a brief moment,

[00:09:00] sip a little more breath in through your nose,

[00:09:03] then exhale through your mouth.

[00:09:07] Allow plenty of time to complete your exhale.

[00:09:11] Notice the moment of stillness at the bottom of the breath

[00:09:16] before yielding to the impulse for a new breath.

[00:09:21] Once more,

[00:09:23] inhale through your nostrils,

[00:09:27] pause,

[00:09:29] exhale through your mouth,

[00:09:33] pause.

[00:09:34] Continue on,

[00:09:36] listening to and watching your breath

[00:09:39] for a few moments.

[00:11:44] Bring to mind some goal or habit

[00:11:47] that you've been struggling to realize.

[00:11:54] Feel your mind and body becoming lighter

[00:11:58] as you release any mental struggle around this intention

[00:12:02] and embrace the present moment.

[00:12:21] Gently shift your focus to the habit you wish to cultivate,

[00:12:30] whether it's a healthier lifestyle,

[00:12:34] a new routine,

[00:12:36] or a personal practice.

[00:12:38] Imagine it like a seed planted in fertile soil.

[00:12:45] When you first plant a seed,

[00:12:47] it's delicate and vulnerable.

[00:12:51] It requires regular care,

[00:12:55] water,

[00:12:56] and patience.

[00:13:00] There's no need to be discouraged

[00:13:02] that the seed hasn't yet sprouted.

[00:13:07] By the same token,

[00:13:09] in the beginning of any habit or journey,

[00:13:13] frustration that your intention

[00:13:15] hasn't brought forth the effect

[00:13:17] you are hoping it will bring

[00:13:19] is no reason to abandon it.

[00:13:24] However,

[00:13:25] if you are currently feeling this frustration,

[00:13:28] notice what's arising in the here and now.

[00:13:33] This is resistance.

[00:13:36] It's one of the subtle ways that we avoid change.

[00:13:43] Change is inherently unpredictable.

[00:13:48] To your subconscious mind,

[00:13:50] veering from the well-worn path of predictability

[00:13:54] can seem like a daunting prospect.

[00:13:57] Your subconscious mind,

[00:13:59] in an attempt to protect you from uncertainty,

[00:14:03] may subvert your efforts to grow and evolve.

[00:14:10] Imagine yourself walking through a forest

[00:14:13] on a familiar trail.

[00:14:16] You know the route by heart

[00:14:18] because you walk it frequently.

[00:14:21] You feel an impulse to wander onto another trail,

[00:14:26] but since you haven't explored it before,

[00:14:29] you are hesitant.

[00:14:30] The known is comforting,

[00:14:36] but there is richness

[00:14:37] in expanding beyond the well-trodden terrain.

[00:14:42] Parts of yourself lie dormant,

[00:14:45] waiting to be awakened,

[00:14:46] but until you allow yourself

[00:14:48] to open into uncertainty,

[00:14:51] this potential within you

[00:14:53] will remain unexplored.

[00:14:58] The mental struggle

[00:14:59] is really about wishing

[00:15:01] the uncertainty weren't there.

[00:15:04] Underneath the surface,

[00:15:07] this is the resistance

[00:15:08] to your own expansion.

[00:15:13] Recognize that this insight

[00:15:15] is actually the beginning of acceptance.

[00:15:21] As you breathe,

[00:15:23] relax into this.

[00:15:25] Give yourself permission

[00:15:27] to feel that desire for certainty.

[00:15:35] Fully surrender to this desire.

[00:15:42] This is mindfulness.

[00:15:46] It reduces the energy wasted

[00:15:49] on fighting ourselves

[00:15:50] and frees up mental space

[00:15:53] to focus on the goal itself.

[00:15:57] When you allow yourself

[00:15:59] to be present

[00:16:00] with the resistance that's coming up,

[00:16:02] it softens its intensity.

[00:16:08] With whatever you are feeling

[00:16:10] in the here and now,

[00:16:13] and acknowledge to yourself

[00:16:15] that this is the perfect place

[00:16:18] to be in the journey.

[00:16:22] Before the seed sprouts,

[00:16:25] there is so much going on internally.

[00:16:29] It's absorbing water.

[00:16:31] Enzymes are activating.

[00:16:34] Energy is being stored

[00:16:36] before it anchors itself

[00:16:38] to the soil

[00:16:39] with strong roots

[00:16:40] that will allow it to grow.

[00:16:43] Don't underestimate

[00:16:47] the internal work

[00:16:49] that is taking place

[00:16:50] as you gently acknowledge

[00:16:53] the resistance you feel.

[00:16:57] No inner work

[00:16:59] is small.

[00:17:02] Breathe in.

[00:19:27] In the language

[00:19:28] of yin and yang,

[00:19:30] with yin having a softer,

[00:19:32] more gentle quality,

[00:19:34] and yang having a more forceful

[00:19:37] and rigid energy,

[00:19:39] resistance tends to have

[00:19:41] more of a yang nature.

[00:19:44] In the language of yoga,

[00:19:47] the left nostril

[00:19:48] is connected to the moon

[00:19:50] and more yin states of mind,

[00:19:53] while the right side

[00:19:55] is associated with the sun

[00:19:57] and more yang principles.

[00:20:01] Throughout the day,

[00:20:03] airflow alternates

[00:20:04] between the right

[00:20:05] and left nostril,

[00:20:07] and thus,

[00:20:08] our energy will fluctuate

[00:20:10] with this cycle.

[00:20:14] Alternate nostril breathing

[00:20:16] brings awareness

[00:20:17] to these changing energies

[00:20:19] and can add a layer

[00:20:22] of sensitivity

[00:20:23] and mindfulness

[00:20:24] to the process of resistance,

[00:20:27] observing its ebb and flow,

[00:20:30] and working with

[00:20:32] the mind-body connection.

[00:20:35] When you are ready,

[00:20:37] begin by inhaling

[00:20:40] through the left nostril

[00:20:41] and notice the pause

[00:20:43] on the top of your breath.

[00:20:47] Imagine that the energy

[00:20:49] of the breath

[00:20:50] has been gathered

[00:20:51] at the center of the brow.

[00:20:55] As you exhale,

[00:20:56] using your intention,

[00:20:59] release the breath

[00:21:00] slowly through your right nostril.

[00:21:04] Notice a brief pause

[00:21:06] as your exhale

[00:21:08] turns into an inhale

[00:21:10] through the right nostril,

[00:21:13] drawing the energy

[00:21:14] of the breath

[00:21:15] to the brow center

[00:21:17] through the left nostril

[00:21:23] and feel the whole

[00:21:25] left side of the brow

[00:21:30] through both nostrils.

[00:21:33] Pause.

[00:21:36] Through both nostrils.

[00:21:40] Pause.

[00:21:41] This completes one cycle

[00:21:44] of alternate nostril breathing.

[00:21:49] If you need to take

[00:21:50] a round or two

[00:21:51] of easy breathing

[00:21:52] in through the nose

[00:21:54] and out through the mouth,

[00:21:57] give yourself permission

[00:21:58] to breathe in this way

[00:22:00] or however the breath

[00:22:02] naturally wants to move.

[00:22:05] When you are ready

[00:22:07] for another cycle

[00:22:08] of alternate nostril breathing,

[00:22:12] inhale through the left nostril.

[00:22:16] Notice the pause

[00:22:18] at the center of the brow.

[00:22:22] Exhale through your right nostril.

[00:22:25] The whole right side

[00:22:27] of the body.

[00:22:33] Inhale again

[00:22:34] through the right nostril,

[00:22:37] gathering energy

[00:22:38] at the center of the brow.

[00:22:41] Pause there.

[00:22:44] Exhale through the left nostril

[00:22:47] of the body.

[00:23:00] Exhale through both nostrils

[00:23:03] to complete the cycle.

[00:23:08] practicing alternate nostril breathing

[00:23:11] at your own pace

[00:23:13] for a few more cycles.

[00:23:15] The ebb and flow

[00:23:17] of the breath

[00:23:18] naturally moving

[00:23:20] with the awareness

[00:23:21] in the two sides

[00:23:22] of the body.

[00:26:30] Visualize the seed

[00:26:32] of your intentions

[00:26:33] sprouting roots.

[00:26:37] These roots represent

[00:26:39] your commitment,

[00:26:40] your small daily efforts,

[00:26:43] and your growing belief

[00:26:45] and your self.

[00:26:48] Even when resistance shows up,

[00:26:52] the roots keep you grounded.

[00:26:57] Resistance becomes part

[00:26:59] of the natural process,

[00:27:02] something you acknowledge

[00:27:03] without letting it stop

[00:27:06] your progress.

[00:27:09] With each breath,

[00:27:11] feel the energy within you shifting.

[00:27:17] resistance no longer holds

[00:27:20] the power it once did.

[00:27:23] It's just a small stone

[00:27:26] in the stream

[00:27:27] while your energy flows

[00:27:30] effortlessly forward.

[00:27:41] Breathe in.

[00:31:01] imagine the habit you want

[00:31:03] to cultivate.

[00:31:08] This is the result

[00:31:10] of your persistence,

[00:31:12] your acceptance,

[00:31:14] and your willingness

[00:31:16] to face resistance

[00:31:18] without fear.

[00:31:21] With each breath,

[00:31:24] you are getting closer

[00:31:26] to the person

[00:31:27] you want to be.

[00:31:29] This journey toward

[00:31:31] better habits

[00:31:32] is not about perfection.

[00:31:35] It's about gentle,

[00:31:37] consistent progress.

[00:31:41] You are already

[00:31:43] on the path.

[00:31:46] Each step,

[00:31:47] no matter how small,

[00:31:50] brings you inevitably

[00:31:52] closer to your goal.

[00:33:55] As you embrace

[00:33:57] the resistance

[00:33:58] that arises

[00:33:59] on your journey

[00:34:00] toward cultivating

[00:34:01] better habits,

[00:34:03] remember that it's

[00:34:05] a natural part

[00:34:06] of the process.

[00:34:09] By bringing mindful awareness

[00:34:12] to these feelings,

[00:34:13] you create space

[00:34:16] for acceptance

[00:34:17] and growth.

[00:34:21] Let go of any judgment

[00:34:23] and surrender

[00:34:25] to the present moment.

[00:34:29] As you drift

[00:34:30] into sleep,

[00:34:33] know that each

[00:34:34] small step you take

[00:34:37] brings you closer

[00:34:38] to your goals.

[00:36:42] Soundly

[00:36:43] and awake

[00:36:45] and refreshed,

[00:36:46] ready to embrace

[00:36:48] new possibilities.

[00:36:52] Sleep.