Letting Go of Comparison ✨ Calm Anxiety, Fall Asleep Fast

[00:00:10] Good evening friends, Karissa here and welcome to another episode of Sleep Wave. Tonight we have a gorgeous meditation that will soothe your heart and mind. Before we dive into it though, I wanted to give a giant thank you shout out to our subscribers. We've seen a lot more of you lately and I just can't begin to tell you how much we appreciate your support. Because of it, we get to keep creating new sleepy content for you. And if you're not yet a subscriber, now is the perfect time for you to sleep.

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[00:02:04] If you've ever Googled a symptom at 2 a.m. or questioned your parenting choices, this is the podcast for you. Follow the PedsDocTalk podcast on Instagram and subscribe and download wherever you get your podcasts. So, recently, I fell into a keeping up with the Joneses moment.

[00:02:28] If you've never heard that phrase, it's when you are comparing yourself with those around you and trying to match or exceed where they are or what they have. I have lived enough life to know that we are all on a unique path and comparison is unhelpful at best, damaging at worst. But every once in a while, I feel like, wait, should my life look like theirs? I think this is a very common feeling. But as you may have heard, comparison is the thief of joy.

[00:02:58] Whenever I find myself comparing myself to others or just generally feeling like I'm not where I should be, I've been saying to myself, what if I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be? This is a particularly helpful thing to say right before going to sleep. Billy and I have been saying this to each other at night and it's such a positive, hopeful, soothing thought to end your day with. I know sometimes it may seem impossible to be where you're supposed to be.

[00:03:29] What if life looks nothing like you want it to? But the truth is, we can't be anywhere other than here. And here is also the only place from which we can make new choices and decisions. In times of illness or grief, sometimes just being here, making it from one moment to the next, is exactly what we should do, even if we don't always know why.

[00:03:56] Tonight, we are going to let go of comparison and just revel in being in this moment, which is exactly where we're supposed to be. Get snuggled up and cozy as we explore this beautiful meditation Billy has created for us as we drift off to sleep.

[00:04:23] What if you're exactly where you're supposed to be? Take a moment to feel this question in your body. Maybe you feel a sense of ease and relief. Sometimes, however, the question brings a feeling of discomfort, tension, longing. What if the exact place you are supposed to be is discomfort, tension, longing?

[00:04:52] When Zen archers loose their arrows that fly straight to the target, they stay in a state of high tension until at the precise moment it shoots. They don't see themselves as the shooter, but rather a part of the unfolding process. Your own discomfort may be the very tension that precipitates the moment of release. The trick, for the Zen archer, is not to crave release,

[00:05:20] but to trust the process to unfold without his own judgments about when he should or should not release the arrow. As snow accumulates on a branch, taking it closer and closer to the ground until the precise moment when it slips off, the branch then rebounds, unburdened by the weight of the snow. What if you're not lost, not late, not failing?

[00:05:50] What if you're simply in the middle of a story that is still unfolding? If only for the length of tonight's meditation, let that possibility be enough for now. As you settle into your bed, relax any unnecessary tension. Now is the time to release. Now is the precise moment.

[00:06:22] Now. Now is where you are. Where you are is always where you must be, and from where you must begin. Now is what is. What is, is what you are. You are here,

[00:06:50] not in any imagined other scenario. When you compare yourself to another, or even some past or future version of yourself, and you imagine that they are better, or that you used to be better, or that you will be better someday, you are measuring what is against what should be.

[00:07:16] That measurement is always based on a memory or a fantasy. It's not real. The real fact is what you are, right here, right now. But the moment you compare what you are feeling in the here and now to what you should feel, or what you once felt, or what someone else feels, you are no longer with the fact of what is.

[00:07:43] To be with what is, without judgment or comparison, is to be in contact with truth. That contact brings clarity. And clarity is energy. Energy that can be used for transformation. Again,

[00:08:11] as you notice the rise and fall of your breath in the here and now, notice simply and without judgment, how are you? Notice how you are now. Not how you were yesterday. Not how you hope to be tomorrow.

[00:08:40] Just the fact of what is. Just breathe. Breathe the circumstances of this moment. Get in contact with the truth of what is here.

[00:09:11] You may notice tension or restlessness, or a thought trying to pull you toward an old story or an imagined future. Let the breath be the anchor that pulls you gently back to what is. To what's really the fact of who you are.

[00:09:39] The thought that you are supposed to be anywhere other than where you are is a trick. It stems from psychological time, the movement from the self of yesterday to the imagined self of tomorrow. It's not real in the same way that the fact of right now is real. It's memory and projection.

[00:10:09] Be completely with what you are now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Breathe in.

[00:12:45] When you accept, even for a moment, that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, you stop comparing this moment with some imaginary other moment. You are in contact with the truth. In Sanskrit, the word for truth is satya.

[00:13:17] The root meaning of satya is sat, which means being. Being means what is. So here we are again with the fact of what is and the truth of what is. We can deceive ourselves into thinking that there is something better than what is

[00:13:47] and the truth. But being established in the truth means you can stop living in a place of denial, comparison, or resistance. It takes an immense amount of energy to resist what is.

[00:14:17] That's why gently acknowledging what's here in the now, whether you are tired, frustrated, sad, or uncertain, can allow you to soften. The energy that was bound up and resisting is suddenly available again.

[00:14:47] You can move from a place of clarity, obscure the sun. The sun hasn't stopped shining. It's simply hidden from view. In the same way, when we resist the truth of where we are, the truth doesn't disappear.

[00:15:15] It's still there, steady and radiant, and we're just standing in the way of its light. At first, hearing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be may sound too tidy, like trying to put a band-aid on a deeper issue. In reality,

[00:15:44] it isn't about bypassing the uncomfortable parts of transformation. It's about being in reality. The insistence that you should be somewhere else is the true bypassing of reality. Feel the release of that resistance. Notice how,

[00:16:14] as the weight of judgments, comparisons, memories, and fantasies fall away. The truth emerges like the sun from behind the cloud. It takes energy to pretend. It takes energy

[00:16:43] to project a version of yourself you think you should be. And it takes energy to avoid or push away what's actually happening inside you. Truth isn't about

[00:17:13] having the answers. It's about being with what's real without needing to escape it. Where presence lives, where freedom begins. You can only take the next step forward

[00:17:41] when you have your feet firmly on the ground. You can only move toward your destination when you know where you're starting from. You don't need to become someone else in order to rest tonight.

[00:18:11] You don't need to resolve anything before you sleep. This moment, with all its incompleteness, might be exactly the right place to feel a deep surrender. The mind is really more like a projector than a camera.

[00:18:44] A camera looks at what is without any judgment. Whether the subject of a photo is beautiful or ugly, the camera captures the image all the same. A projector, however, will cast images onto a blank screen, creating an illusion that there is

[00:19:13] a whole adventure unfolding before your eyes has the same power. It can cast the shadows of memory and comparison and fantasy onto reality. If you can take on the attitude

[00:19:42] of a witness now, then rather than holding fast to the idea that you are off track or that you have missed the boat, just be where you are without trying to be somewhere else.

[00:20:12] With the sensations that arise, they too have a right to be there. Just let the breath move you through any discomfort or resistance. Even resistance can be an entry point

[00:20:40] into the present moment. Surrender and surrender into what is. Feel the relief. Feel the alignment with truth.

[00:21:09] Feel the contact you are making with reality itself. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.

[00:22:49] Let's begin to drift. Like dust settling in a still room, there's no more sorting or analyzing to do right now. You've brought awareness to where you are. You've met yourself honestly.

[00:23:21] You don't have to reach for anything else tonight. Let yourself begin to feel the support beneath you. Quiet of the room cradle you. Notice

[00:23:50] how your body naturally yields to gravity. Notice how your breath continues on its own without your needing to manage it. The rhythm of your breath guides you gently back into your body.

[00:24:26] Breathe in.

[00:25:45] There's nowhere you need to be. No one you need to become. Right now, you can soften. Let your shoulders relax. Let your jaw undo the muscles around your eyes. You've carried enough

[00:26:15] for today. You're allowed to set it all down. Feel the weight of your body, your arms, your legs, your back. The whole system begin to slow. There's no pressure.

[00:26:46] There's no rush. Allow yourself to be held by the present moment. It's safe to rest. It's safe,

[00:27:19] safe to be exactly as you are. Let your awareness become like a boat floating quietly on calm water. While your body drifts deeper into stillness,

[00:27:51] there's nothing you're missing. Nothing urgent to tend to. Just this moment. Breathe in,

[00:28:22] breathe in.

[00:29:39] If there's still some tension in you, that's okay. If there's a flicker of restlessness, that's okay too. Don't try to change it. Let it be here with you. Let it soften in its own time.

[00:30:09] You can be spacious enough to hold even that. The resistance to what is dissolve are exactly where you are supposed to be.

[00:31:46] Let your body sink more deeply into the surface beneath you. Let sleep come if it wants to. There's nothing to resist now, to chase.

[00:32:15] Just the gentle rhythm of your being and the truth of this moment behind.

[00:32:47] You're simply here, breathing. Transformation can begin right here, right now. Let yourself drift and loosen

[00:33:17] its grip.

[00:34:26] Imagine a night sky full of stars. Each one shines down from above and radiates the truth of its own being from an unfathomable distance. Here you are, looking up at this night sky right from where you are.

[00:35:00] This simple moment of awe as you relax into the mystery of this beauty quiets the mind. There's no commentary, no comparison, no story to tell.

[00:35:29] The pure witnessing of what is. No words could embellish the stars. The mind stopped. See the stars shining down from above.

[00:35:59] See yourself situated in the vast tapestry of being of what is. Connect to the wholeness that flows from that is-ness. Each star is exactly where it's supposed to be. You too

[00:36:29] are exactly where you are supposed to be. Rest in the truth of whatever doesn't put you in touch with the same truth that is revealed in these stars.