In this week’s Wednesday Wisdom, Karissa reflects on loneliness and the relief that can come from accepting a difficult season rather than fighting against it.
A comforting reminder that deeper connection can begin with learning to meet yourself with more understanding and care. For the full meditation inspired by this reflection, search “Finding Comfort In Solitude - Sleep Wave”.
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[00:00:29] I absolutely love by the poet Rumi, the moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door will open. Its simplicity is truly humbling. I, for one, tend to make things more complicated than they need to be.
[00:00:48] But when I look at my life for moments that were turning points, when things went from challenging to less so, this is usually true. I accepted my troubles and something new arose from that.
[00:01:04] Recently, I was chatting with a friend about loneliness, about how you can be completely by yourself and yet be perfectly content in your own company, or be in a room full of people and feel lonely. It's not about how many people may or may not be around, but more about the connection you feel with those around you.
[00:01:30] We are social creatures, and not feeling connected to others can be deeply disconcerting. It can be one of those quiet worries that you might not notice all day, but that sometimes arises in the night, just as you are trying to get some rest. I went through a painful bout of loneliness for a time in college.
[00:01:52] A close friend severed our relationship suddenly and without explanation, and I was left feeling both abandoned and adrift. I wasn't sure where I fit socially anymore.
[00:02:06] I would sit in my room on Friday night, feeling the buzz of the other people in the dorms gearing up for parties and nights out, and I was just beside myself with loneliness, with wanting to be part of it all, but not feeling like I had any true friends. I was also reticent about making new ones after feeling so hurt. This persisted for some time.
[00:02:34] I finally realized I had to just accept the situation. Yes, I was lonely. No, I wasn't sure when it would shift. That acceptance helped me be with the truth of what was and stop fighting so hard against the discomfort and even shame I felt around it.
[00:02:56] Like in the roomie quote, after I was able to accept my troubles, a door did open and new friends flowed into my life, friends I still have today. But better than that was a feeling of relief I had even before the new friends showed up.
[00:03:17] Going through this process of accepting something I really didn't want to look at forced me to connect to myself in a deeper way. That connection and ability to enjoy my own company has served me well throughout my life since. And while loneliness has come in and out of my life since, I know now how to handle it and myself in a more loving way.
[00:03:47] If loneliness is something you are experiencing and that is keeping you up at night, I am sorry. I am also here with you. We are going to be here together tonight. Meditating and breathing. Accepting this moment for all it is and what it has to teach us. So that we can rest deeply and give ourselves the care and connection we deserve.
[00:04:23] Tonight's episode of Sleep Wave is sponsored by Vinted. Every so often, I open my wardrobe and realize how many clothes are taking up space without being worn. You know the ones. You think their moment will come, but somehow it never does. Vinted offers a practical way to clear some of that space. It's a secondhand marketplace app where everyday people can sell pre-loved fashion and earn some extra money.
[00:04:50] I like the idea that clothes I bought for special occasions can now have their own story with somebody else rather than sitting forgotten at the back of a wardrobe. Listing items on Vinted is quick and simple and there are no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn. Once something sells, Vinted also creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if your wardrobe is feeling crowded, Vinted could help you make some space and be less wasteful at the same time.
[00:05:17] Ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money? Download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn and for a limited time, enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted.